


don't be alarmed if i fall head over feet

by tommyandthejons



Category: Crooked Media RPF
Genre: Crushes, Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 03:56:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15258891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tommyandthejons/pseuds/tommyandthejons
Summary: There was something about the new intern Jon just didn’t like.  He was always staring at Lovett, always laughed a little too long at his jokes.  All Lovett had to do was mention caffeine and the kid would go on a coffee run.  He’d run interference for Lovett too, always making excuses when Lovett rolled in late, like Jon hadn’t worked with him for years and didn’t know his habits.  Worse, Lovett was nice to him.  If it was anyone else, Jon wouldn’t have called it nice, but for Lovett it was.  For someone who could talk as much as he did, Lovett was equally good at freezing people out when he wanted to.  So when Jon said nice, he meant Lovett ignored the weirdness, and teased the kid, but more gently than he did some of the others somehow.In which an intern has a crush and Jon is jealous.





	don't be alarmed if i fall head over feet

**Author's Note:**

> Total fiction!

There was something about the new intern Jon just didn’t like. He was always staring at Lovett, always laughed a little too long at his jokes. All Lovett had to do was mention caffeine and the kid would go on a coffee run. He’d run interference for Lovett too, always making excuses when Lovett rolled in late, like Jon hadn’t worked with him for years and didn’t know his habits. Worse, Lovett was nice to him. If it was anyone else, Jon wouldn’t have called it nice, but for Lovett it was. For someone who could talk as much as he did, Lovett was equally good at freezing people out when he wanted to. So when Jon said nice, he meant Lovett ignored the weirdness, and teased the kid, but more gently than he did some of the others somehow.

“Ugh, I can’t take him anymore, Tommy,” Jon said. The Pats were playing the Rams so they were at a sports bar waiting for the game to start.

“What, Lovett?” Tommy asked, not looking up from his phone. It was a fair guess, when Lovett had heard they made plans for the game, he’d made a big fuss until they’d invited him and then turned them down because he’d already made plans for his own game night with Spencer.

“No, not Lovett, Josh.”

Tommy mmhmmed at Jon which was not satisfying, but Jon was pretty limited in who he could complain to about an intern who hadn’t actually done anything wrong, so he took it as an invitation to continue complaining about all the tiny things Josh did that got on his nerves. He wasn’t even halfway through the litany of complaints he had built up when Tommy actually looked up from his phone, which shocked Jon enough that he lost the thread of his complaints.

“Lovett’s nice to him because he has a crush,” Tommy said, in a long suffering tone.

“He’s not his type at all!” Jon said because Lovett was reasonably vocal about his type and Josh didn’t fit it. “Besides, Lovett can’t date an intern.” He couldn’t; it would be completely inappropriate, even if Jon knew Lovett wasn’t the type to take advantage of anything, it would look bad. Jon firmly did not pay attention the thought that crossed his mind that it wouldn’t bother him nearly as much if Tommy was potentially hooking up with one of their employees.

Tommy had gone back to scrolling so Jon kicked his ankle. “Did Lovett tell you he liked him?” Jon asked. He wished he hadn’t as soon as he’d said it, especially with the withering look Tommy gave him.

“No, Elijah told me that Josh had a crush on Lovett at recess, Jesus, Jon.”

Oh, Jon thought, that made more sense. Of course Josh had a crush on Lovett. Lovett was a catch, Jon told him all the time. Somehow though, the knowledge made Jon feel even grumpier.

“If he’s making Lovett uncomfortable,” Jon started, but Tommy interrupted, “Honestly, Jon, the only one who seems uncomfortable here is you. You’d think you were dating Lovett or something the way you’re acting.”

Jon made himself laugh like Tommy had been making a joke, even though he’d sounded half serious, because if he didn’t laugh, he was going to say something defensive and the only thing he wanted less than to examine why he was feeling so defensive was to have Tommy examine it. So he laughed and then grabbed his own phone, scrolling through twitter until he found something to change the subject, which, unsurprisingly, didn’t take very long at all, and took all of his attention until it was time for the game to start.

Still he couldn’t shake how uncomfortable Josh’s crush— because once Tommy had named it, it seemed unbelievably obvious that that’s what it was— made him feel. It wasn’t a guy thing, he was sure, because Lovett had talked about dates and crushes and who he thought was handsome, and it never bothered Jon, except for when it was Paul Ryan because honestly, Lovett could do so much better.

Jon tended to believe as long as he understood the reason behind things, he could figure a strategy for dealing with them. 2016 had been an exception to that— they’d come up with a strategy, eventually, but it felt like treading water rather than moving forward. This was different because it was him and Lovett. It wasn’t like their relationship hadn’t had ups and downs over the years— it had started on what should have been a hell of a down, but they’d reached an equilibrium that Jon took comfort in. He hadn’t realized how much he depended on it until it was gone. Worse, it wasn’t like they’d fought or drifted apart. Jon could handle that. He could fix that.

He couldn’t fix that somehow Josh made him see Lovett differently— not differently, exactly, because Jon had always known Lovett was special, and even recognizing that Lovett was a lot— Jon was fully aware of Lovett’s flaws— had never understood his complaints about the dating scene because there had to be guys out there who realized Lovett was worth it. Secretly, he’d suspected Lovett was just not putting the effort into dating, or maybe he was self sabatoging, or looking for attention and sympathy because any of those possibilities made more sense to him than the possibility no one recognized the best parts of Lovett, like how it was impossible to be bored around him, or how he’d always help a friend out, even if he did complain the whole time, or the way he looked when he was trying to solve a problem, so intensely focused. 

Jon wished he had someone who looked at him with that much focus.

Josh’s crush should have been reassuring because it meant one of Jon’s theories had to be right, but instead it left Jon feeling caught off guard and without any sort of action he could take. He did indulge himself in a fantasy where he fired Josh, a very, it’s not you, it’s us, we hired too many interns and you were the last one, sort of thing, but even in his fantasy, Jon knew Tommy and Lovett would override him.

The thought of Josh’s hypothetical reaction to Lovett playing his white knight, despite the fact that Tommy had been equally (fictionally) responsible was just too much. Jon slammed his laptop shut— he hadn’t been getting anything done anyway— and groaned, folding his arms across one another and dropping his head. It wasn’t fair that he couldn’t even imagine an escape from fucking Josh in his own head.

“Rough day, buddy?” Tommy asked.

Jon turned his head and said, “You have no idea.” 

“Why don’t you go home and rest?” Lovett asked. He was right by Jon’s desk and he reached out a hand awkwardly and patted his back, which was rare for him— he nearly never initiated any sort of touch. Maybe that was why Jon felt completely and totally aware of every point where they were touching. “We’re done for today anyway.”

Jon must have looked terrible for Lovett to sincerely suggest he go home without any ribbing or complaining that they never let Lovett leave early. “Yeah, I’ll do that,” he said, but he didn’t move until Lovett stopped rubbing circles into his shoulder and lifted his hand from Jon’s back.

“Sure you’re okay?” Lovett asked, but Jon waved him off.

“I’m fine, see you guys tomorrow,” he said and made his escape before he could have any more troubling revelations.

He didn’t actually plan on going to sleep— even if they’d finished at the office there was always something more to be done or another fight to get into on twitter— but when he got home he’d barely started working on a tentative outline for Thursday’s pod when he found himself unable to keep his eyes open anymore. He’d been having trouble sleeping, even before this whole thing with Josh and Lovett, and it had finally caught up with him. He tried to push through it, but after opening his eyes to a blank page— page 20 in a document that had been 1 page before— because he’d hit the spacebar too many times, he stopped fighting it in favor of setting a quick alarm.

“Hey, hon,” he heard Lovett say, which was strange because Lovett didn’t tend to use endearments like that with them unless it was for a bit. Before he could say anything, Lovett was kissing him, gently on the forehead. “You look exhausted, I must have tuckered you out.” Lovett smirked at that though Jon wasn’t sure why. Then Lovett was tuggin him up and pushing him off towards the stairs. “Better go use that Harry’s razor so I can endorse how smooth it makes your face.”

Jon knew there was something wrong, something he ought to be able to fix, but it was like he wasn’t in control of his own body. He ended up in the bathroom holding the razor, not entirely sure how he got there, then he looked in the mirror and instead of his face, he saw Josh’s looking back at him. Jon screamed and the mirror shattered then everything else did, and then he woke up, in bed, alone.

It was just a dream, he thought. It wasn’t real.

It was only the first dream. The next dream, he was walking someone down the aisle at a wedding which was weird but not particularly troubling until he saw the groom was Josh. He knew he didn't want to lift the veil but his hands were moving without his consent and he was faced with Lovett underneath. "Aren't you happy for me, Jon?" he asked and thankfully that was when Jon woke up, heart pounding, breathing heavy, but free. He tried not to think of that one too much though imagining the tirade Lovett would have at his expense for the dress if he'd ever relayed the dream was one bright spot. 

He managed a couple of dream free nights working late and waking early, trying to keep his body from ever having enough consecutive sleep to dream, and other than the increased temptation to nap at work, which he was starting to feel like he should have given Lovett less shit for, it was working pretty well. He'd lived on this much sleep or less at the White House, he could do it again. 

It was helping at work too. Okay, maybe his malapropisms were on the rise but those always got a good chuckle from Lovett and there were worse things than looking a little stupid. Plus if he got distracted and caught staring, there was always a yawn ready for a cover up. It should have been a sustainable long term plan, he thought, right up to when it stopped working. 

First there was another dream. This time he was out on a run and he was late to get somewhere, but he couldn't figure out where and every time he checked his phone for directions, it started screaming at him in Lovett's voice. 

A truck almost ran him over when he tried to cross the street and then he saw a big church, and heard the faint strains of the wedding march and felt with a certain sense of dread that was where he needed to be and then suddenly, without having taken a step, he was standing in the back of the church in his sweaty gym clothes. He couldn't see anything from where he was standing so he moved forward until he realized it was Lovett and Josh again, though this time Lovett was in a suit.  The ceremony was further along this time and the officiant was asking for objections. 

"Me," Jon shouted. "I object!" But no one heard him. That's when he realized people weren't just being polite and ignoring his incorrect attire, and sweat, and pushing, they didn't actually know he was there.  Worse, he didn't manage to wake up until after the officiant said you can kiss the groom, and he'd been unable to turn away from what was at that point a front row seat for Lovett and Josh making out. 

Once he was awake, there were a million things about the dream that made it easy to discredit-- but Jon was still shaken. 

"You wouldn't get married without telling me, would you?" he asked Lovett. He hadn't meant to ask— had in fact had quite firmly decided not to mention any of the dreams to anyone in any form— but he hadn’t been able to let go of the thought until finally he couldn’t help himself. 

Lovett barked out a laugh then, after looking at Jon, said, "Wait, you’re serious? Of all of us, I think it’s established that I’m the least likely to sneak off and gett married. What do you think I have a secret boyfriend I'm not telling any of you about?"

"No," Jon said, but he didn’t sound convincing even to himself; Lovett apparently agreed because he said, "You do, huh. Look, next time I meet someone who's even remotely a marriageable prospect, I'll text you straight off."

Jon laughed— he was pretty sure he had a Pavlovian reaction to the way Lovett sounded when he was telling a joke at this point, even if Lovett was always complaining they didn’t appreciate his jokes— and made the mistake of thinking that was done.

Then a text came in— Jon, I’m in love. Meet the future Mr. Jon Lovett— followed by a picture of a burrito, the foil torn and twisted into a ring resting on top it.

Haha, Jon texted back.

Over the next few weeks, Jon recieved a never ending stream of texts about potential future husbands for Lovett, inanimate and otherwise. At first he tried responding in the same vein— to John Legend, he almost texted, Wrong Jon, but didn't want to think about Jon turning that into a joke so he went with I think Chrissy got there first, to which Lovett replied, she said she doesn’t mind sharing— or asking when the big day was, which led to Lovett escalating and sending an actual save the date card for Lovett and his playstation.

That one went out to everyone— apparently Lovett ordered the cards online and since there had been a minimum requirement, he’d send out a bunch. It made Jon regret having sent back a photo of it stuck to his fridge, instead of doing something more in response, especially since Josh apparently knew someone who knew someone who knew someone and brought in a copy of an as of yet unreleased game as an engagement present. Lovett had lit up when Josh handed it to him and Jon felt his stomach sink.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want Lovett to be happy— he did! He also wanted to be the one who was making him happy and he wanted Josh far, far away from him. 

Everything came to a head when he and Tommy and Lovett were having dinner and Lovett started talking about an idea one of the interns had, transcripts for the episodes to broaden their audience. Jon was fine with it right up until Lovett said, “Josh,” and then he involuntarily rolled his eyes.

“What?” Lovett asked.  “I think it’s a good idea.”

"You would," Jon said bitterly. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lovett asked.  he sounded like he was gearing up for a fight and Jon didn't have a good answer so he shook his beer and said, "I'm getting another beer. Need anything—"

“—an answer?"

“—from the kitchen," he finished, ignoring Lovett's interjection. 

"What was that?" He heard Lovett say to Tommy as he walked away. 

He didn't hear Tommy's reply but when he got back, Lovett was meticulously peeling the label and the only further comment he made was that he was going to have Josh start the transcripts with Lovett or Leave It episodes. Jon managed to control his face and nod and then changed the subject. 

Over the next week, Jon kept catching Lovett watching him. He wasn’t used to Lovett turning his attention on him like that, full focus, unless it was when he was workshopping a bit or trying to get out of doing something. This felt different, like Lovett was trying to figure him out, which was equal parts terrifying and confusingly arousing. 

Jon might have thought it was all in his head, but he also noticed Josh noticing. As cliche as it was, he couldn’t help thinking that if looks could kill, he’d be very, very dead.

There was an odd moment when he’d overheard Josh say “I don’t get what he sees in him. I mean, sure, he’s good looking, but he’s so…” as Jon walked into the kitchen before someone shushed him. The contempt in his voice couldn’t have been directed towards Lovett and if it was someone outside of the Crooked Media people, why had someone tried to keep Josh from saying more? Jon was reasonably sure he was the only one Josh disliked at Crooked Media— everyone else seemed to get along with him fine; Jon liked being the kind of person everyone could get along with— so he figured he was the one who Josh didn’t think much of, but he wasn’t sure who else Josh could have been talking about.

He was still mulling it over when he realized Leo was way over due for a walk. He grabbed the leash and shook it at everyone saying, "Back in a bit," then ran out before anyone-- if he was being honest with himself, he meant Jon- could offer to go with him. 

The walk really didn't do much to clear his head— the closest he'd gotten to it was getting wrapped up in a twitter battle, but even that was more enraging than not and to make matters worse the thing that calmed him down from that was a tweet from Lovett, slyly deflating the whole thing. Also if it hadn't been for Leo, his distraction would have probably led to him walking into traffic.

When he realized he'd walked all the way to the good coffee place, he sent a quick slack message in case anyone wanted coffee then when he was inundated with far too many orders sent another asking for them to send someone to help him with the orders. 

Of course, Lovett was the one who showed up, just as the last drink was ready, so Jon couldn't even send him back with the first half of the orders. Instead, he grabbed one of the trays of drinks, leaving the other two for Lovett since he also had Leo’s leash. 

"Hey, man," he said, sounding perfectly natural, good job, self. "How many companies do you think have the bosses on a coffee run? Thought they'd send one of the interns."

"Yeah," Lovett said, eyes focused on Jon, "Josh was going to come but—"

Jon could help the face he made at that name. 

"See, there it is!" Lovett said triumphantly. "What is your problem with Josh lately?"

"I don't have a problem with Josh," Jon tried. Lovett snorted which was fair then said, "I mean, I know he doesn't like you either but—"

"Wait," Jon said. "What do you mean you know he doesn't like me?"

"Is that what this is? Not everyone's going to fall over for your charms, Favs, thought we were past this."

“Wait, why is it okay for him to not like me but me not liking him is a problem?"

"It wouldn't look too great if it gets around that you're picking on an intern."

“You pick on the interns all the time,” Jon countered, which was true, kind of, except everyone knew Lovett was playing around so it didn’t really count and then he’d do things like tutor them in math or make sure they each had a project that was their own on some level.

“People expect that kind of thing from me; from you, it’s the height of poor taste, picking on poor, defensless Joshua,” Jon drew out the name obnoxiously then added, “Really, Jon, I’d expect better of you,” which was just too much.

“I’m not picking on him!" Jon exclaimed. Maybe mentally, but Catholic guilt aside, he'd done his best not to show how annoying he found Josh. He looked over at just the right moment to see a deviously pleased look slip across Lovett's face. 

"You're baiting me," he said and Lovett rolled his eyes, but Jon was sure he was right, which also meant Lovett was trying to distract him from something. 

"I know about his crush," Jon said and Lovett faltered on his next step which meant that was definitely on the right track. "I don't care—" lie “—just because he has good taste. That doesn't matter to me, I thought you'd know that." Then again, Jon thought he knew himself better too but here they were. 

"Yeah, well, I didn't think it was _his_ crush that was bothering you," Lovett said pointedly.

Jon’s jaw dropped. "Wait, what?" 

Lovett said, "Nothing you didn't know, I used to have a crush on you, look, it was a long time ago. Just cut Josh a break, would you? It's not easy having a crush on your boss.”

“You had a—”

"Can we not? Just because I said it out loud doesn't mean anything has to change."

"You used to have a crush on me,” Jon said, testing the words, making sure he’d properly processed what Lovett said. 

"Yeah and the way you handled it was perfect— well, there was nothing perfect about it, but at least you didn’t rub it in my face or anything. Okay, poor choice of words, who came up with that expression, anyway, you weren’t mean about it, I've been doing the same with Josh and—"

"Used to," Jon repeated. 

"Come on, Jon, why do you have a problem with this now? Everyone knew, it’s ancient history.”

“Maybe I don’t want it to be,” Jon said. Everyone knew. Yeah, not quite. He wondered how he would have handled it then if he’d realized, if he would have been anywhere near as mature as Lovett seemed to think he was, or if he would have fucked up one of his closest friendships, or maybe if he would have recognized his own feelings sooner.

“What, you like the idea of me having a hopeless crush on you? Does that inflate your ego—”

Jon couldn’t not defend himself at that. “Lovett, does that sound like me?” He might have been oblivious, but he wasn’t an asshole, not like that, not now.

“Sorry,” Lovett said. He paused and then added in a small voice, “You have no idea how shitty it was for me, even if you were nice,” the word sounded withering, but the look on Lovett’s face was worse, “about it and it’s been really weird being on the other side of it.”

“I didn’t know,” Jon said.

“Like I said,” Lovett sounded more confident now, as if he was working himself back to where he expected to be. “Ancient history, unrequited crush, and we’re all good now.”

“What if it wasn’t though?” Jon asked.

“Wasn’t good? If you switch sides again, I’m going to get confused and think someone made you a senator,” Lovett said with a small, crooked smile that made Jon’s stomach sink.

“Ancient history, unrequited, all of the above,” Jon said lightly, even though he wasn’t sure he could bring himself to pretend it was a bit if this went wrong.

“Dear diary, today Jonathan Favreau confessed he’d had a crush on me all along,” Lovett said, albeit sarcastically. 

“Lovett,” Jon groaned. How could he be so exasperating and also why was it convincing Jon he wanted this even more? It would be so easy to let this go and take the hit of a few awkward days in exchange for the certainty of a return to the status quo. He wasn’t sure if it was a misplaced bit of hope he’d managed to hold on to, or the thought that even if things returned to a semblance of normalcy, they had changed for him and pretending otherwise couldn’t fix anything.

He stopped and put the coffee carrier down on a nearby ledge, and when Lovett turned back, Jon took the rest of the coffee from him and put it down too, so that all he was holding was Leo’s leash and said, “I know it was a long time ago and maybe your feelings have changed…” he trailed off because Lovett was looking at him like he wasn’t quite sure if this was really happening. He waited, hoping Lovett would put him out of his misery, and then when he didn’t, blurted out, “Will you go out with me?” awkwardly, like he was in middle school. He was pretty sure he hadn’t felt this awkward asking someone out since middle school, so at least that tracked.

“We’re already out,” Lovett said, gesturing around them, but he smiled at Jon and Jon thought it looked hopeful.

“Lovett,” he said. “I mean it,” and then cupped Lovett’s face with his free hand and leaned in to kiss him.

A passerby shouted something at them, and Leo was running around them in circles so they were trapped in his leash, and Jon thought someone might have made off with some of the coffee, but he didn’t care about any of that nearly as much as he did about the way Lovett opened his mouth beneath his or how he leaned forward so his body was flush against Jon’s until Jon lost his balance and they fell backwards against the wall, Lovett pressed firmly against him.

It took Jon a moment to catch his breath after, and longer for them to get untangled, but once they had, he asked, “So that’s a yes?” and Lovett looked at him, and asked in a quiet voice, “You’re sure?” as if he still couldn’t quite believe it was real.

“I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life,” Jon said, letting every bit of sincerity he could muster show and it must have worked because Lovett fucking beamed back at him and Jon knew in that moment that everything was going to work out.

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr](https://tommyandthejons.tumblr.com)


End file.
